Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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