I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
