I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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