I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
