So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
