You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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