So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
