Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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