So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
