Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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