We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize