there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
