Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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