So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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