I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
