he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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