I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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