So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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