like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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