I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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