The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
