Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
