I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
