your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
