hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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