Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
