Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
