so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
