did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
NoShamevember. You game?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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