Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
As shirtless as possible
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize