question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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