We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
