Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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