Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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