Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
