Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize