You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
