I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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