quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
