you would pick up someone in the library
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
