You're so nebulous sometimes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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