It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
false alarm, still single
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