remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
