Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
