Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
