I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
