Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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