Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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