Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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