so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize