How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Someone signed my nipple.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
