I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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