Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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