I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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