I got chris browned last night
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
