Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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