I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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