last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Randomize
