dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
