I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
