if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize