He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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