Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
