Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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